When Rod Ferrell was 16, (or 500 as he tells it. You see, he's a vampire) he took a little road trip to Florida with some friends and went to visit his ex girlfriend. He ended up brutally murdering the ex-girlfriend's parents. The teens then decided to go to New Orleans because that's where all vampires go, but only made it as far as Baton Rouge before being arrested for the murders and extradited back to Florida.
The document above is his original 7th Grade Report Card, dated 12/16/92 from the Calloway County Midle School in Murray, KY. It is signed by his mother, Sondra Gibson, at the bottom. It has some folds and creases (as it's over 20 years old) but no tears.